Yo yo yo, so this game, it’s just another poser. For real, you have no idea, I’ve seen this game over and over. The concept is starting to get old. Plus, the graphics are pathetic compared to the other games, like, Robot Unicorn Attack. Now that game was gangsta, this one, just an amateur phony.
I must say though, for the price of free, it’s not totally worthless. I mean for a game that’s half as good as its predecessors, it’s only fair that they give it away for free. But, then again, that means in game advertisements and that shit is whack. I can’t hate on it completely, it was a good effort, but just not quite gangsta enough for this gama.
Bottom line: This game is whack but for the price of free, I’ll let it slide. But seriously, somethings got to give, I need some more creativity to keep on enjoying this game for longer than 5 minutes.
Tag Archives: Reviews
Addicting: Save The Pencil [iOS]
You know how unbelievable excited I get when I discover an amazing, addictive, free app. Well I did it again. Save The Pencil is my kind of game. Remember Crayon Physics and that whole thing? Well, Save The Pencil takes a similar concept and makes it its bitch.
Basically, you’re trying to keep your HB #2 pencil out of harms way. If this takes you back to the days of elementary school, well, it should. The nostalgic (yeah, this gangsta is learning some vocabulary son) feel of the lined paper, pencils, rulers, and paper clips makes for quite the retro game. Retro is the new gangsta, I’m tellin’ you homies. You gotta collect all the stars to gain the most stars, shit starts out super easy but don’t be fooled, you’ll be stumped soon enough. In short, stay away from those damn paper clips, they’ll take you straight back to the beginning. They are your archenemy, you gotta swag all over them and prove your gangsta dominance.
Oh, did I mention this shit was free. Well, this shit is free. Apparently, when it was first released, it used to be a dollar. One hole dollar. If it were still that way I’d argue it was totally worth every last cent. But, they changed it. It’s free, so if you’re pinching pennies you can cool off and get down to an awesome game.
Bottom line: For a game that’s free but actually worth a dollar, it’s definitely a game that needs to be downloaded AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I’m not kidding around here. You’re honestly missing out on an addicting, challenging, and unique game. Get your shit together and download it.
Feelin’ a little homesick from the hood. Yee. Had to throw this one in there. Rep it!
Review: Ski-On-Neon
Yo yo yo, just in time for winter sports, Ski On Neon brings skiing to space. It’s not the most original concept considering it borrows the idea of exploiting gravity to gain speed and height from Tiny Wings. Although Tiny Wings was incredibly successful, I don’t think this one can match up to that hype. That isn’t to say that Ski On Neon isn’t a good game, I’m just saying it ain’t gangsta. You see, being a gangsta is about originality and style, this game has got style…..it’s half gangsta. The other half is just being a mark ass trick. A copy cat. That and it’s also more difficult than Tiny Wings. That game was pretty hard at times but this one is a bit more tricky. When you make a game to difficult from the beginning people get frustrated and they stop playing.
But for what it’s worth, the game is at the very least entertaining. Check this little video of the game in action.
Bottom line: For a game that is free, it’s good enough to entertain you for those times you’re bored of Temple Run and Tiny Wings. You’ve got nothing to lose so if you hate it, you can just scrap it. Don’t expect anything more than some decent space-themed graphics. This game is a bottom-level gangsta.
Review: Zombie Takeover
Yo what up, it’s your boy! I’m doing it for the fans as usual. So I’ve been really feelin’ this whole zombie craze. All these games saying they got zombie this and zombie that….not all of them are good. But yo, I found this bad ass one, you feel me? Zombie Takeover. It’s got the three most important things. Free, fun, and addicting. Crack rock addicting, no joke.
Basically, you gotta build up your army of zombies and kill humans. Your fighting for your city. It’s a thugged out zombie game. Now can you feel me? Always got that gangsta spirit in me. This game will keep you occupied for hours but I don’t understand why they gotta make life so difficult and make you wait forever until you can fight again. 45 minutes, seriously? They just really trying to bait you into making those in-app purchases. Did ya’ll know you can turn that shit off from the settings? I just figured that shit out, props to the developers who fucking warn you in the app store so you ain’t surprised and pissed off as I usually am about that kind of bullshit. You play fair, I’ll be fair to you. It’s the G code, that’s all.
I live life by the G code. Always. If you a true gangsta you’ll know.
But yo, back to Zombie Takeover. If you chill with dealing with the occasional mentions of in app purchases and you like a good free game, get this game son. It ain’t just one of those classic arcade games like Temple Run and shit. Zombie Takeover is all about spending time, basically just wasting your time on it. But hey, some people dig that shit. I know I do when the mood is right.
Bottom line: This game is dope. It ain’t the fuckin’ Mona Lisa of iphone games but it’ll pass the time if you’re bored with all your other games.
Word up.
Review: Parking Mania
Yo, gangsta nation!I got this game because my homette hooked it up with some knowledge. Let me just say, not as fun as I was told. Seriously, it’s just boring, you park cars and try not crash into shit. What is so difficult about that? I hate when shit just gets boring after only a few levels of playing. Challenge me sooner! I’m pissed because I just wasted a dollar on this because I trusted the recommendation, never again. I’ll get the lite version next time.
Foreal, it could be better. But I ain’t gonna complain, it’s entertaining for the time being. I will say one thing, its a damn good idea. Just make it a little more fun for the long term.
Review: ZOMBIEVILLE USA 2 [iPhone]
Yo yo, gangsta gama nation, I’m back at yah with a review of this zombie apocalypse shit son! Yo foreal, I’m killing zombies left and right, kickin ass and taking body counts not names. Did yah get what I did there homies? Yea, I’m a clever gangsta thats for god damn sure.
But yo let’s get wit it. Zombieville USA 2, pick it up, 99c on that App Store playa! You play as a redneck strapped with a shotty, glock, and a baseball bat. You can swap out for better items when you get on swag levels. But yo, to start, your strapped, take no prisoners. You feel me?
Anyways, I have one beef. Why the fuck it gotta be so damn hard to aim at these zombies? I keep getting caught up in there bite because its a bit difficult to get the fuck away. But I’m working on it homies, believe me, give me a week and I’ll be ready to fucking rage on some zombies in real life.
Overall, I give it a 4 star gangsta rating. Quality game, gangsta animations and game play. But da fuck you listening to me about it? Download shit on your own and get down with the other gangstas simulating the zombie apocalypse. You know it’s going to go down sooner or later, might as well prep yourself now little homies. Respect.
PS: When I escaped the heat of the 5-0 to the Northwest nobody fucking told me that it fucking rains non stop. Literally, non fucking stop. How the fuck is a gangsta like me supposed to survive in this shit? Fuck.
Reminiscing of the gang bang life I loved…
The Long Awaited iPhone iOS 5 Review
Yo homies, I’m back at you with a review of the iPhone iOS 5 software. I haven’t been able to snatch up a new iPhone 4S. It seems like people are protecting those bad boys as if they had just struck gold. But yo, I updated two weeks ago and I have been taking my cell phone swag to the next level. Let me break it down by feature.
Notification Center: Boom cats! This shit is the realest. Manage all those damn notifications in one place son. You can check the local weather and some stocks if you a true Wall Street baller. But now you can go to one place to fucking check who’s hitting you up on the book of face but also check the score of Monday night football. It’s also fully customizable so yeah, it’s pretty much the shit.
Reminders: A true gangsta always has a busy schedule. Help your hustle and get yourself through all your tasks so you can end the day with a good night blunt. I’m gonna give you a bit of gangsta advice, making lists and completing them makes your hustle much more superior. Yee.
Newsstand: So fucking boring son, no one wants use that shit. Worst part, you can’t fucking delete it so I gotta always be looking at an empty newsstand because I don’t give a fuck or shit about the New York Times and all that crap. I’m a gangsta dammit, not some hipster intellectual.
iCloud: Gangsta.
Wireless Sync/Update: Fucking Gangsta Son! Seriously plugging that shit into my computer was so whack homie. Now I don’t gotta do shit. This shit just by itself would be enough to please me. The fucking whack homies that have Androids always made me fucking raging with envy when they could wirelessly update but now I can pimp slap those punks with my iPhone and feel god damn justified about it.
Word. All that other shit is the same so I’m not gonna say anything about shit everyone already knows about. I’m out ya’ll, it’s yuh boy OG, I’ll be back with some new shit soon, keep it trill and fucking rage on some Turkey tomorrow.
PS: Steve Jobs you my boy, my G, affiliated to the gangsta nation baby, R.I.P., one love!
Console Review: Battlefield 3
Alright my gangsta gamers, your boy OG is back in action. It’s been a while huh? Well I won’t go into too many details but you see, now that I’m in the Northwest it’s a little bit easier for a gangsta to get on the 5-0 radar so I’ve been ducking and dodgin’ lately. I’ve also picked myself up a sugar momma, my bottom bitch. So yeah, life is still good if ya’ll motha fuckas even care anymore. But yo, check it, I fucking hustled myself a copy of the new Battlefield 3. Been hittin’ the sticks hard on the 360. But you for real, if ya’ll want to squad up online, hit us at our gamer tag WaxMyrtle.
On to the review: So hands down this game is the best fucking FPS I’ve ever laid my eyes and hands on. Seriously, this has to be the realest war game around. I haven’t played that new COD shit but rest assured I’ll lift a copy soon, but from what I’ve been hearing, BF3 is where the fucking money is at.
The campaign is bad ass, cinematic, and mad intense. If you looking for a good single player action, spark a blunt and try and conquer these fucking levels, you’ll be at the edge of your seat for hours homie. Aside from a pretty average, but awesome, campaign, the multiplayer really make this fucking game worth it.
Honestly, you can’t forget about the multiplayer, you may have to dish out some extra dough for the online experience but yo, you aint a true BF3 gangsta until you be schooling noobs online. Lemme warn you though, there are some motha fuckin OGs killin it online. Straight up, these fools dont even give you a chance, so keep your head down and dont be a fucking idiot running out into open ground. This aint fucking COD you cant just run around like some fucking whack ass idiot. All that is gonna get you homie is your head blown off. This shit is real, this ain’t no casual play time. Your life and squad is on the line, dont be the dick head that loses the match for your crew. If you a true gangsta you know that if you aint loyal to the victory of your crew, you gonna get dropped homie. So yea, learn your lesson now before you make a fool of yourself and your team. Word up. PS: Use that pic above to get yourself used to the classes, this aint COD so get educated gangstas!!
Bottom line: Best game on the market. Seriously, I ain’t fucking kidding around here gangsta nation, I honestly believe there aint no better game than this (dont you fucking dare talk about Elder Scrolls, fool that is some pussy shit). But yo, get this game homies if you haven’t already. Add me on Live and let’s fucking ball son!
One more thing……I’ll be getting back on my mobile game reviews soon, just copped that iOS5 shit homie!!!
Yo yo, get on that hyphy shit, the Northwest be lovin’ it.
Review: Kings Cup iPhone App
Listen up gangsta nation. I was chillin with da homies up in P-Town. Anyway, we were stompin the city and once we got back to the gangsta pad it was time to get real down. The crew wanted to play some Kings Cup ya heard? That college shit son. So yeah, broke ass homies didn’t have a deck of cards so I had to whip out my iPhone just to prove I’m fly as fuck son. Went straight to that fucking App Store and picked up the Kings Cup app so we could get our swerve on. Lets get something straight, it did the job my homies.
I got a couple of things to fucking say about it. Maybe a few tips on making this shit a little better. First off, the rules man, the fucking rules. They ain’t right. Yeah sure you can just make up your own rules but peeps get confused once they start getting a little tipsy, you feel? Get the rules straight, my rules or no rules. I’m the gangsta gama so respect my authoritay. Second of all, I am a big fan of that random picking process, makes it much more legit homies. Good work on that shit you feel?
Aight, final words. Get this game if you’re trying to get down on some gangsta Kings Cup action. Follow the game rules or your own whatever you fucking want gangsta nation. I do recommend this game if you got broke ass homies with no decks of cards.
GANGSTA GAMER APPROVED
Yo, check it. Perfect track for a little Kings Cup session.
Review: Madden 12
Pow bitch, that’s a 95 yard run by Ingram. Listen up gangsta nation. Madden 12 on the fucking xbox bitch. Claypizzle on the sticks wit da Saints, but the Chargers be fucking puttin the Saints on their mothafucking backs son.
Me and da crew be kickin’ it phat on the Madden and honestly Im startin’ to dig this game. Mad props for the gameplay improvement dis year. Was a little pissed at dem Madden games since 08 when the homie Vince Young got cover love. But dis year is the sickest. One question though… Peyton Hillis are you fucking kidding me? Madden curse or not EA homies, what da fuck?
But yo, real talk, this game is fucking sick homies. Tackling is epic, but yo the visuals I be seein’ be bangin!! Graphics on point. Swag.
I just gotta ask you EA sports….. Da fuck is up wit these wack ass announcers. First off, nevah insult my play calls because that just pisses a gangsta off homie, if I thought it was stupid I wouldn’t of called the play Cris Collinsworth, so shut your motha fucking mouth before I shut it for you. I just slammed a 22 of Mickeys so I don’t need you to sass me like dat fly beezy down the block.
This game be trill on the rill homie. Im finna play this game for a grip.
Stay fly playaz.
